The Narrow road - A Journey

There was the potter working on the wheel. Making useful pots. When any clay turned out bad, he tried shaping the same clay again. And all this he made according to his choice, the way he knew would be best for the clay.

And we are the clay and our God is the potter. He has made us according to his will, most beautiful. But sometimes when we go our own way and make a mess of our lives, the potter - our God, stands by us to remake us and reshape our lives. He is never tired of making us again and again.

But there is another message that follows. God gives us our choice to return to him when we have walked the way of the satan. He helps us mend our ways by teaching us, as he molds our lives back. In the process, he fills us with wisdom and strength. No matter what he does for us, if we continue to do evil, he will also punish us. And if He ever intends to punish us and we repent and look at God for protection, He will embrace us with his forgiveness and mercy.

And what is it that we cannot achieve with his shadow over us?

He who made the clouds, the stars, the colors and the breeze.
He who is the breath, he will never cease.
His wrath is the thunder of the sky.
His warmth does in our smiles lie.

I am like the clay which turned out bad
No matter how much the potter did to shape it back
I grew more stubborn day by day
He watered me soft, to mend my way.
Lord, you are my Potter and I am your clay.

Evita

I suddenly wished to see God today. Though I knew google would not help me, I anyway wanted to see how people have perceived God would look like. A picture of the space specially captured my attention. Though I have seen it many times, through various sources before, today it seemed to have a special meaning to me. The picture which looked like an eye, most beautiful and magnificent. Who could have drawn that on the sky, or was it really God’s eye looking at us.

I remembered the little hymn I sang when I was little;

“My God is so big, so strong and so mighty
There is nothing my God cannot do.
made the rivers, he made the mountains,
and all the handy works too.”

Oh yes, that painter can and will only paint beautiful things in my life and there is nothing impossible for him. I no longer want to see God, because I know what he is and I see and feel him enough within me every day, every moment.

The unworthy successor of Peter who desires to benefit from the immeasurable wealth of Christ feels the great need of your assistance, your prayers, your sacrifice, and he most humbly asks this of you. - Pope John Paul II

With those words I begin my today’s post. I think of an orphan, who gets fatherly love and care from another man. That man becomes his father. That little child learns its way of life from the one who is fostering it. It learns to understand the world and the values it needs to live with.

Jesus came to teach us to live our lives his father wills for us. He became our father on this earth a mediator of his father to us. He chose for us those who could take the figure of himself after he left. He did not leave us orphans, but gave us the precious gifts of our priests, who will nourish our souls and lead us towards God’s plan for us.

But the one’s Jesus chose for us, are from among us. They are not divine as our Christ himself is. They are humans. Above all, their human nature causes them to be led astray if they give into temptations. And because they are people of God, their temptations are much stronger than we normal humans face.

And so as Pope John Paul asks of us our prayers and sacrifices, for himself, and so, it is our duty to pray for our priests.

Everytime we hear about a priest who has sinned, let us not forget to reflect on the life of Christ himself. Christ never sinned, but his life was a perfect example of all a priest faces everyday. Leaving his family, serving the poor, fighting for justice, fasting, his temptations. Jesus was never accepted or respected by his own people, so I see a lot of catholics not respecting their priests. Its not simple to become a savior without sacrifice. And moreover let us not forget the human nature of our priests.

(Many may still not agree with me -  thats simply our human nature ;)) Well let us all pray now;

Prayer for our priests

Lord Jesus, we your people pray to You for our priests. You have given them to us for our needs. We pray for them in their needs.

We know that You have made them priests in the likeness of your own priesthood. You have consecrated them, set them aside, annointed them, filled them with the Holy Spirit, appointed them to teach, to preach, to minister, to console, to forgive, and to feed us with Your Body and Blood.

Yet we know, too, that they are one with us and share our human weaknesses. We know too that they are tempted to sin and discouragement as are we, needing to be ministered to, as do we, to be consoled and forgiven, as do we. Indeed, we thank You for choosing them from among us, so that they understand us as we understand them, suffer with us and rejoice with us, worry with us and trust with us, share our beings, our lives, our faith.

We ask that You give them this day the gift You gave Your chosen ones on the way to Emmaus: Your presence in their hearts, Your holiness in their souls, Your joy in their spirits. And let them see You face to face in the breaking of the Eucharistic bread.

We pray to You, O Lord, through Mary the mother of all priests, for Your priests and for ours. Amen.

The strength that keeps me going, is the hope I carry in my Lord. Life has its own up’s and down’s. I like to question, “Why me?” But the hope that my empty cup will be filled with fulfilling life, gives me a new chance to look beyond. And that faith, thanks the Lord for the failures, because when I win these are the very failures which will show me how invaluable my happiness would be and there will be no stopping to the overflowing joy. I know that is true, because the strength that keeps me going, is the hope I carry in my Lord.

Fill my cup Lord, I lift it up Lord
Come and quench the thirsting of my soul
Bread of heaven, feed me till I want no more
Fill my cup, fill it up and make me whole.

click here for complete lyrics of this hymn Fill my cup Lord

Do you praise the name of Jesus? Do you sing hymns? Do you say the Our Father loudly?
Do you do this with your lips or is your heart and mind as much involved?
Do you go to Mass? Can you give your life for the Lord?
If you say yes to everything and if its all seems perfect, wait and think again. Have you given everything to the Lord?

This lent was an amazing time when I reflected on one thing. What is it I have not given to the Lord, what is it that I hold back from him. Its then when his message reached me, through the life of St. Jerome. Jesus asked him (and me), “will you give me your sins..”

Yes exactly, Have you given your sins to the Lord??

Evu

Before I start writing today, I’d like to make a mention of this link. Has a great reflection on mass or eucharistic celebration Click Here

Well, this was in my mind for a long time now but could’nt make a perfect start. Let me try this time..

As a kid, attending Mass was like a weekly ritual, what a good christian is supposed to do. Not just weekly but yes all obligatory days. Until I reached the high school, where I came across two catholics from my catechism class questioning against the faith. That’s when I started questioning too - not against though. I had an urge to understand and know what makes catholic and what makes a protestant. So many doubts in mind, I could have been easily thrown into the winds of misunderstandings. My point here is not to prove any protestant wrong, but to explain what made me stick on to my faith.

I had to start somewhere, so was it the bible, catechism or just the mass. I decided to keenly concentrate on the mass first, as that’s where the bible would be read and catechism explained. Initially nothing made sense to me. I was even more confused. I am still not an expert, but I have enough knowledge to be cemented to my faith (ofcourse without air-cracks)

Then was a period at work, where I met and still meet people from strong catholic (and orthodox) backgrounds finding it difficult to even attend a mass, simply because they find it not so interesting. They find the lively praise and worship music makes more sense to them. My intense desire to understand my faith which led me to start with the mass, put me in complete love with the mass no matter how the choir sang, no matter how many people slept, no matter how boring the priest is. We ask for miracles and Mass (Eucharistic celebration) is nothing less than the greatest miracle. Don’t you ask me how? It seemed like rocket science in the beginning, but it was much simpler than I thought it was. I took baby steps, fell apart, felt agitated at times, went through phases where i just did not believe, times when I stared at the cross blankly. I guess God was slowly writing into me the meaning of the “miracle”, which took me years to realize. If your not looking for quick solutions, then concentrate on everything during the mass, possibly you would go through all I did, but I can assure, you too will fall in love with it

Now this is what I think Mass is and is not. It is surely a miracle, we reinvent our faith everytime we celebrate it, oh yes its a celebration (grand one), its the mystery of greatest love of God, in the form of his own flesh and blood, it is a time when ‘I’ try to stand and pray and thank God for counting me worthy to take part in his feast, its a time when ‘I’ sing and worship and don’t counter on how good or bad the person next to me is singing (also the choir included). Its a time when ‘I’ lift myself up to the lord. Its when ‘I’ repeat or respond to the priest with my whole heart. That’s when ‘I’ will find the beauty of the celebration coming alive.

Though live music, miracles and healings all matter a lot, we are not called to believe because of these. We are called to believe in Christ no matter how difficult or dull our lives are, even minus all the entertainment.

Everytime you say the priest was boring and choir was slow or not lively, remember its the satan trying to persuade you to believe that its the best time to sleep and Mr. satan really feels glad (gives a devilish smile) when he succeeds, he knows how to separate you from our lords one true catholic church

So BEWARE!!!

Evy

Oh, I was fallen with complete despair
Afflicted with sorrow, pain and no care
No one could lift my spirits up
To carry my burden, no power seemed to be enough

I closed my eyes
Shoulders drooped
I want to die
Loud I cried.

All the while I was walking on fire
Stuck by the thorns of worldly desire
Just to realize, I was yet not burnt
No scars, no wounds, no pricks and no tears.

Just then I heard
a voice so meek
yet so distinct indeed
Dear I understand and I do care
Oh dear I do understand and I will bear

Lifted my eyes to look who it was
and there I saw a hidden cross
I straightened up, being fallen lame
To see the one carrying all my shame.

There were my burns
There were my wounds
There were the thorns
My pain and moans

That was the cross which carried them
To relieve me, my God was slain
I fall at your feet O dear Christ
And thank you for my new life.

– straight from my heart.Evita

Just wondering where we are heading today. Humanity, just seems to be a word hidden in the dictionary and no longer in practice. Talk of terrorism in any form - extremists, gangsters, thief’s, religious fundamentalist, political fanaticism. Its not confined to a single group or community. Anything causing psychological and mental tumult to humanity through coercion is terrorism. Anyone deliberately intending to cause fear by the use of violence are terrorists.

Recently, the chain bomb blasts in India and the most shocking of all, the shootouts in bombay, are not to be considered attacks on any specific country or community. As media continues to stress over the target being the Jewish community. Secondly, calling it an infructuous effort by the terrorists, not being able to reach the goal of 5000 people, all sounds very ridiculous. But was it a complete failure? They got the whole world by storm of fear and sense of threat, they got the attention they needed and more so they killed innocent blood.

We lack wisdom to comprehend the situation and sitting afar and getting news from different parts of the world, fails to explain the intensity, pain and commotion going on. Lets not forget to continuously remember these people in our prayers. The powers of satan can cease with only God’s intervention. No organization in the world, no political power can fight negative forces. What can strengthen our Christian brethren fighting against communal forces, and human race at large trying to figure out the solution to terrorism; the only answer is, to seek God alone. Let’s kneel everyday in the presence of God, ask for his mercy and pardon. He alone can change the world for us and change every heart.

This reminds me of the divine mercy prayer. An excellent everyday prayer, asking for God’s mercy for this whole world

(Note: Changes are made to the post, thanks to my friends for giving me proper guidance in understanding what was wrong in the post)

All of us have a dark side to our life’s. They continue producing guilt to the extent of mental death. And the issue cannot be discussed, nor you know how you could find a solution. I am not scared of telling the world that yes even I have a bad truth which has nearly killed my senses for the last 2 and half years. A truth which I could not share with anybody.

Many a people do not acknowledge the power of confession, because of their upbringing or could be many other reasons. The thought of having to talk to a person (priest) who is unknown to us.

God helped me understand that today. Priests are blessed with impeccable wisdom to counsel and forgive. Well ofcourse, this wisdom flows from God and when they act on behalf of God. Jesus after his resurrection gave his first priests the power to forgive sins. And through the ages and by laying of hands this power has been transferred to the priests till today. And as it was God’s plan for the forgiveness of sins to reach us through them, the satisfaction you get once you realize that the battle is over is amazing.

I had a rather unusual confession today. As soon as I took the sign of the cross, tears rolled down my eyes. I was crying . The priest stopped me at this and told me to calm down because there is nothing which Jesus cannot forgive. So I asked him, if he means ‘any’ sin. He asked me to look at the cross holding the risen lord with open hands. And told me to concentrate on him, and what is it that cannot go into those hands. The priest said, “when the time one realizes the wrongdoings and try’s to turn to God’s mercy, there is nothing through Jesus that can avoid the mercy flowing to us.” He was right. I started feeling sudden calmness. The priest didn’t want to know what my sins were. He said “God knows. I’l just pray the prayer of absolution so that the forgiveness is complete.” He just wanted me to look at the cross after confession. And before leaving from there I just asked him to pray for me.

All through these years, I was struggling. Trying to understand how and when I can get rid of the hurt. Even if its through confession, how could I talk about it to the priest. Jesus made it easier for me when I decided to confess. Through the priest, he did not even ask me what my sins were but just forgave me. God is the actual forgiver not the priest.

Our God speaks to us through our priests. Thank you father.

Evu

The target now are Indian Christians. I request all to constantly pray for India. It started with Orissa (though there have been many incidents in other regions earlier). Now its slowly moving down south to Karnataka. Before communal violence starts burning India down, the whole world needs to pray for India.

Pray for protection of Christians and forgiveness and change of heart for those causing disturbance.

One rosary decade for India a day will surely bring the power of God to overcome the bad.

Pray pray pray.