The Narrow road – A Journey

The strength that keeps me going, is the hope I carry in my Lord. Life has its own up’s and down’s. I like to question, “Why me?” But the hope that my empty cup will be filled with fulfilling life, gives me a new chance to look beyond. And that faith, thanks the Lord for the failures, because when I win these are the very failures which will show me how invaluable my happiness would be and there will be no stopping to the overflowing joy. I know that is true, because the strength that keeps me going, is the hope I carry in my Lord.

Fill my cup Lord, I lift it up Lord
Come and quench the thirsting of my soul
Bread of heaven, feed me till I want no more
Fill my cup, fill it up and make me whole.

click here for complete lyrics of this hymn Fill my cup Lord

Do you praise the name of Jesus? Do you sing hymns? Do you say the Our Father loudly?
Do you do this with your lips or is your heart and mind as much involved?
Do you go to Mass? Can you give your life for the Lord?
If you say yes to everything and if its all seems perfect, wait and think again. Have you given everything to the Lord?

This lent was an amazing time when I reflected on one thing. What is it I have not given to the Lord, what is it that I hold back from him. Its then when his message reached me, through the life of St. Jerome. Jesus asked him (and me), “will you give me your sins..”

Yes exactly, Have you given your sins to the Lord??

Evu

Before I start writing today, I’d like to make a mention of this link. Has a great reflection on mass or eucharistic celebration Click Here

Well, this was in my mind for a long time now but could’nt make a perfect start. Let me try this time..

As a kid, attending Mass was like a weekly ritual, what a good christian is supposed to do. Not just weekly but yes all obligatory days. Until I reached the high school, where I came across two catholics from my catechism class questioning against the faith. That’s when I started questioning too – not against though. I had an urge to understand and know what makes catholic and what makes a protestant. So many doubts in mind, I could have been easily thrown into the winds of misunderstandings. My point here is not to prove any protestant wrong, but to explain what made me stick on to my faith.

I had to start somewhere, so was it the bible, catechism or just the mass. I decided to keenly concentrate on the mass first, as that’s where the bible would be read and catechism explained. Initially nothing made sense to me. I was even more confused. I am still not an expert, but I have enough knowledge to be cemented to my faith (ofcourse without air-cracks)

Then was a period at work, where I met and still meet people from strong catholic (and orthodox) backgrounds finding it difficult to even attend a mass, simply because they find it not so interesting. They find the lively praise and worship music makes more sense to them. My intense desire to understand my faith which led me to start with the mass, put me in complete love with the mass no matter how the choir sang, no matter how many people slept, no matter how boring the priest is. We ask for miracles and Mass (Eucharistic celebration) is nothing less than the greatest miracle. Don’t you ask me how? It seemed like rocket science in the beginning, but it was much simpler than I thought it was. I took baby steps, fell apart, felt agitated at times, went through phases where i just did not believe, times when I stared at the cross blankly. I guess God was slowly writing into me the meaning of the “miracle”, which took me years to realize. If your not looking for quick solutions, then concentrate on everything during the mass, possibly you would go through all I did, but I can assure, you too will fall in love with it

Now this is what I think Mass is and is not. It is surely a miracle, we reinvent our faith everytime we celebrate it, oh yes its a celebration (grand one), its the mystery of greatest love of God, in the form of his own flesh and blood, it is a time when ‘I’ try to stand and pray and thank God for counting me worthy to take part in his feast, its a time when ‘I’ sing and worship and don’t counter on how good or bad the person next to me is singing (also the choir included). Its a time when ‘I’ lift myself up to the lord. Its when ‘I’ repeat or respond to the priest with my whole heart. That’s when ‘I’ will find the beauty of the celebration coming alive.

Though live music, miracles and healings all matter a lot, we are not called to believe because of these. We are called to believe in Christ no matter how difficult or dull our lives are, even minus all the entertainment.

Everytime you say the priest was boring and choir was slow or not lively, remember its the satan trying to persuade you to believe that its the best time to sleep and Mr. satan really feels glad (gives a devilish smile) when he succeeds, he knows how to separate you from our lords one true catholic church

So BEWARE!!!

Evy

Oh, I was fallen with complete despair
Afflicted with sorrow, pain and no care
No one could lift my spirits up
To carry my burden, no power seemed to be enough

I closed my eyes
Shoulders drooped
I want to die
Loud I cried.

All the while I was walking on fire
Stuck by the thorns of worldly desire
Just to realize, I was yet not burnt
No scars, no wounds, no pricks and no tears.

Just then I heard
a voice so meek
yet so distinct indeed
Dear I understand and I do care
Oh dear I do understand and I will bear

Lifted my eyes to look who it was
and there I saw a hidden cross
I straightened up, being fallen lame
To see the one carrying all my shame.

There were my burns
There were my wounds
There were the thorns
My pain and moans

That was the cross which carried them
To relieve me, my God was slain
I fall at your feet O dear Christ
And thank you for my new life.

– straight from my heart.Evita

Just wondering where we are heading today. Humanity, just seems to be a word hidden in the dictionary and no longer in practice. Talk of terrorism in any form – extremists, gangsters, thief’s, religious fundamentalist, political fanaticism. Its not confined to a single group or community. Anything causing psychological and mental tumult to humanity through coercion is terrorism. Anyone deliberately intending to cause fear by the use of violence are terrorists.

Recently, the chain bomb blasts in India and the most shocking of all, the shootouts in bombay, are not to be considered attacks on any specific country or community. As media continues to stress over the target being the Jewish community. Secondly, calling it an infructuous effort by the terrorists, not being able to reach the goal of 5000 people, all sounds very ridiculous. But was it a complete failure? They got the whole world by storm of fear and sense of threat, they got the attention they needed and more so they killed innocent blood.

We lack wisdom to comprehend the situation and sitting afar and getting news from different parts of the world, fails to explain the intensity, pain and commotion going on. Lets not forget to continuously remember these people in our prayers. The powers of satan can cease with only God’s intervention. No organization in the world, no political power can fight negative forces. What can strengthen our Christian brethren fighting against communal forces, and human race at large trying to figure out the solution to terrorism; the only answer is, to seek God alone. Let’s kneel everyday in the presence of God, ask for his mercy and pardon. He alone can change the world for us and change every heart.

This reminds me of the divine mercy prayer. An excellent everyday prayer, asking for God’s mercy for this whole world

(Note: Changes are made to the post, thanks to my friends for giving me proper guidance in understanding what was wrong in the post)

All of us have a dark side to our life’s. They continue producing guilt to the extent of mental death. And the issue cannot be discussed, nor you know how you could find a solution. I am not scared of telling the world that yes even I have a bad truth which has nearly killed my senses for the last 2 and half years. A truth which I could not share with anybody.

Many a people do not acknowledge the power of confession, because of their upbringing or could be many other reasons. The thought of having to talk to a person (priest) who is unknown to us.

God helped me understand that today. Priests are blessed with impeccable wisdom to counsel and forgive. Well ofcourse, this wisdom flows from God and when they act on behalf of God. Jesus after his resurrection gave his first priests the power to forgive sins. And through the ages and by laying of hands this power has been transferred to the priests till today. And as it was God’s plan for the forgiveness of sins to reach us through them, the satisfaction you get once you realize that the battle is over is amazing.

I had a rather unusual confession today. As soon as I took the sign of the cross, tears rolled down my eyes. I was crying . The priest stopped me at this and told me to calm down because there is nothing which Jesus cannot forgive. So I asked him, if he means ‘any’ sin. He asked me to look at the cross holding the risen lord with open hands. And told me to concentrate on him, and what is it that cannot go into those hands. The priest said, “when the time one realizes the wrongdoings and try’s to turn to God’s mercy, there is nothing through Jesus that can avoid the mercy flowing to us.” He was right. I started feeling sudden calmness. The priest didn’t want to know what my sins were. He said “God knows. I’l just pray the prayer of absolution so that the forgiveness is complete.” He just wanted me to look at the cross after confession. And before leaving from there I just asked him to pray for me.

All through these years, I was struggling. Trying to understand how and when I can get rid of the hurt. Even if its through confession, how could I talk about it to the priest. Jesus made it easier for me when I decided to confess. Through the priest, he did not even ask me what my sins were but just forgave me. God is the actual forgiver not the priest.

Our God speaks to us through our priests. Thank you father.

Evu

The target now are Indian Christians. I request all to constantly pray for India. It started with Orissa (though there have been many incidents in other regions earlier). Now its slowly moving down south to Karnataka. Before communal violence starts burning India down, the whole world needs to pray for India.

Pray for protection of Christians and forgiveness and change of heart for those causing disturbance.

One rosary decade for India a day will surely bring the power of God to overcome the bad.

Pray pray pray.

What could that possibly mean. Well here’s the story.

It was my cousins wedding this week. During the homily, the priest was giving advice on how a couple need to live their lives. And so he said ” we come across a lot of problems and shortcomings, but we should never give up. When the young couple at cana would have faced embarrassment, our Lady realized their fears and what was bothering them. She then asked Jesus to do what needs to be done to help this couple out of the situation.”

Jesus at first stepped back but on his mothers request did exactly what she said. Was it God’s plan to tell his people that he has blessed Mary to such an extent that His son would do what she wants him to do? That son, who is God himself?

No one at cana, approached Mary on what was happening nor did the couple or their household share what was going on. Then what was the power in her that she could see what was coming and rightly request her son to do what we call the first miracle. Did Jesus really not know that it was time or was it God’s plan to make it known to Jesus through his mother?

As God the father our creator knows everything thats going to happen to us and since he has empowered Mary to see and understand what he knows about her children (us). Its true, that God will bring forth miracles in our life’s everytime Mary sees our troubles and requests Jesus to take care of them for us.

All we need to do is acknowledge Mary in our day today lives.

-Evu

I saw the movie, where our Lady appeared to three children. Its up on youtube. Well youtube carry’s a comment columnar where one particular person was constantly throwing rubbbish on how satanic these apparitions are and why the rosary itself is evil. On one comment, this person has even written beyond limits and called our mother as “mother of satan”.. Suddenly the verse from the bible flashed in front of me, Sin against His church, His name and Holy Spirit is never forgivable. Though I have not quoted the exact verse its just a combination of different verses which speaks of sin and grave sin. And calling Mary the mother of satan, this person did not realise he/she was actually calling Jesus ’satan’?

Well anyway I continue to pray for them. In my journey, I have realised another new thing, on what people think about my heavenly mother. My love for her will never cease.

–Evita

It took me hours to log into my profile today. But worth the wait and I blame myself for not remembering my password. But I am finally in and typing. So glad. Thanks stblogs and thanks wordpress for your patience and thank myself for my own patience ufff…

Evu